I have determined that there are only two types of women that are interested in me: ones with boyfriends that are unhappy with their relationships, and well-traveled trilingual ones that make me feel insecure for never finishing college or living up to my potential. Lose-lose.
"I don’t want to have to do this living. I just walk around. I want to be swept off my feet, you know? I want my children to have magical powers. I am prepared for amazing things to happen. I can handle it."